The joys of Istari weed
by Requiana
Summary: The new king goes back to his old ranger habits
1. Gandalf's surprise

The joys of Istari weed

Gandalf and Aragorn sat at the highest point in Minas Tirith, taking a break from the festivities dedicated to the new king. It was indeed strange just how many parties could be crammed into the first month of his reign. Privately, Gandalf thought it a bit rich that Aragorn had been invited to 13 so far. Especially as 13 was his lucky number. It wasn't as if he was a regular wizard anyway, it wasn't so long ago he'd been promoted and everyone had forgotten! But then again, Aragorn had been his friend for a long time and he did make a great travelling companion. They had been through a lot together. He supposed he couldn't begrudge him a few celebration parties.

"So," (Gandalf was tired of sitting in silence) "now you're king, will you still have time for the rest of the lowly travellers? You know, with all your kingly duties to take care of."

"Of course, everything will be exactly the same, anyway, I'm not the only one with duties, remember who got upgraded last month?" Aragorn replied.

"True, true" Gandalf sighed, inwardly relieved he hadn't dreamed becoming a white wizard. "But will things be exactly the same?" he smirked, revealing a pouch beneath his cloak.

"That's not what I think it is, is it?" Aragorn asked, an excited look on his face.

"It depends, will things be the same my good king?" repeated the wizard.

"Of course, now hand some over before I go find one of your legendary fireworks and shove it where the light of Earendil does not shine!." Aragorn made as if to do just that. Gandalf did his best to smother his giggles and look imposing. He failed miserably and threw the pouch at his tormentor. Drawing his pipe, Aragorn filled it with the brownish substance from the bag and lit it.

"Ahhhh" he sighed as the smoke curled around his head, "that's the best pipe I've had in a long time."

"Well, don't hog it" Gandalf said, reaching for the bag himself.

Soon both the friends were puffing companionably. Both waiting for the full and amusing effects of the Istari weed to kick in.


	2. your highness

Later they would regret the quantities of Istari weed they had used, but for now, the immense high it gave them was a breath of fresh air.

"Gandalf," Aragorn mumbled drowsily, "can you see those butterflies too?" 

"Hang on a minute, just let me catch my hat" said Gandalf, leaping about grabbing at air. "It's flown off and it's my best hat."

"Gandalf!"

"I said help me!" snapped Gandalf 

"Alright, come back here you little scallywag!" The friends dashed about grasping for the hat, but it was too clever for them, every time they got near, it would dart a little further out of their reach. There it would float, blowing raspberries and generally being rude.

Eventually they gave up and the hat flapped its little pink wings and flew up to the beacon where it set up home.

"So anyway, I'm guessing those butterflies aren't mocking you as well? Because they're being damn annoying to me, they keep changing colour and it makes my eyes hurt, I'm sure they're doing it on purpose!" but Gandalf didn't answer; he was too busy staring at the strange and wonderful sight before him.

"Gandalf!" Aragorn shouted

"What, what?" Gandalf snapped, "I've never seen Frodo in a dress before, this better be good."

"It doesn't matter, go back to….. Wait a minute, that isn't fair, I can only see butterflies; you've already had some. Those kind of hallucinations only occur after 20 minutes, it says so on the packet. You sly old bugger! I want to see Frodo in a dress!" Aragorn raged. Gandalf giggled hysterically.

"He looks very pretty."

"Bastard"

"What?"

"Give me that bag right now, I want more, more I say you withered old wizard!" They rolled over in the fight for the bag. 

"What's this then?" Gimli had come looking for the two friends. "We're waiting to cut the cake. Oooh, that looks familiar, mind if I join you?" Gimli reached for the pouch and joined the two friends. 

"Sod off rabbit features" yelled Gandalf, "take your ears where they're not disturbing other people!"

"Oooh, this is strong stuff. Wow, Frodo never looked so good, but is he meant to be wearing a hat with pink wings?" chuckled the dwarf.

"My hat! Come here you little toe-rag" shouted Gandalf, charging at Frodo.

"You mean you can see it too? This isn't fair, I want to see Frodo!" wailed Aragorn.

"You've only to turn round your highness" Frodo's voice came calmly from behind. Aragorn whipped round. The hobbit stood in a fetching lilac, empire line frock. "Better now?" he enquired.

"Hang on, is Frodo really there or is this a hallucination?" asked Aragorn

"I'm not entirely sure" mumbled Gandalf.

"Just enjoy me while I'm here" whispered the now floating image of the hobbit. 

"I can tell I'm going to regret this in the morning" Aragorn mumbled from beneath Frodo's discarded dress. 


	3. The aftermath

Hi everyone, sorry it took so long for the second chapter to sort itself out, in case the title didn't show up properly, it was meant to be called 'your high-ness'

I'm not really very pleased with this chapter but it's early in the morning and it's as good as I can be bothered to write.

REQUIANA    

"My lord." Aragorn snuffled and looked up at the figure above him, framed with piercing light.

"My lord." repeated Arwen, shaking his shoulder. Aragorn sat up and rubbed his eyes. He didn't remember much of the night before but the dress on the floor looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh bugger!" exclaimed Aragorn, "my love, I can explain."

"There's no need my lord" said Arwen, with a twinkle in her eye. It was then Aragorn realized she was not alone. Behind her stood Elohir and Elladan, both smug-faced.

"Well brother Aragorn. It's been a long time since we were glad we didn't smoke with you. But now, look at the state you're in." 

"So" Arwen said turning to Gandalf, "did you catch your hat in the end?" He looked blank for a moment, then realization dawned on him.

"You were watching us!" He exploded, "That's not fair!"

"Maybe not fair but _very _entertaining" smirked either Elohir or Elladan. Gandalf wondered for a moment why he couldn't tell them apart. Eventually he reasoned with himself that it was too early in the morning to be doing with identification.

"So you know about Frodo my love?" Aragorn mumbled, staring at the floor.

"Frodo? Why no. What about him?" Arwen asked.

"Oh, nothing" said Aragorn.

"Well, we'll have to be telling father about this" said Elohir.

"Father already knows" Elrond swept upon the scene. "Well, I'm very disappointed with you Arwen!"

"Me father? What have I done?" asked Arwen, a little of her calm composure lost.

"You should keep your husband in better order, don't let it happen again."

"Yes father" Arwen gulped as Elrond turned,

"Hmph, doesn't do for citizens to see their king high as a kite" he muttered as he left the party to themselves.

"So my dear, you'll be wanting to get back to bed I suppose. Don't worry I'll sort out the rest of this mess, you go on." Aragorn smiled.

"Well O.K, come on Elladan, Elohir, leave it to them." The two brothers looked disappointed to be missing out on watching the party stumbling about, shading their eyes.

"_Elohir, Elladan!"_

"Yes, yes we're coming" they said in unison as they traipsed after her.

Aragorn turned to face his friends, and simultaneously, they burst out laughing. Each and every one was plainly hysterical.

"I, I can't believe Lady Arwen was blamed for your misconduct sir!" wept Gimli.

"I know," replied Aragorn, one question still on his mind.

"But I am very glad I got my hat back" concluded Gandalf, straightening out the creases where he had lain on it. 

"Hang on a minute" shouted Aragorn, "Frodo, Frodo!"

"Yes sir?" said Frodo coming out from behind a tree, where he'd been watching the entire spectacle. His glance went straight to the lilac dress Aragorn was holding up. He blushed.

"Frodo my good hobbit, were you actually _wearing_ this thing last night?"


End file.
